Mean Green

For the Love of Money, I have decided to make a severe schedule change and I will be heading to my parents' place on June 24. Of course I would love to continue on to Europe, but it is just not going to happen this time around. With seven countries down and a few buck left in my bank account, mama I'm coming home.

So, let's see who really reads my blog. For all of you in the States, especially those of you out west, drop me a line. I will be spending at least a month with my family in Illinois, but thereafter, I am planning on heading out west to spend some time with the friends I left behind about 4 years ago. So again, get at me! I'll be looking for some couches to crash on...

Going Up

Vietnam has been amazing. Hence, I haven't been online for a while. The food, the people (i.e. the families), the landscape, and the language - it's all been a blast. The food is gradually changing as we make our way north: fresh spring rolls, sandwiches, pho, cau lau...

The people (save all the annoying people on the street trying to sell you anything and everything) are genuinely friendly and open to foreign cultures.

The landscape has healed profoundly. We haven't seen all the world heritage sites as of yet, but so far so beautiful...and apparently the further we go north, the better it's going to get...can't wait!

The language is crazy. Of all the countries I have ever visited, I feel so far from understanding that it is becoming really fun. The intonations and tones are perhaps impossible for me to discern or hear, but it's been a riot trying to pronounce anything. My friend Cathy (''Hi, Cathy! Get back to work!!) mentioned in her blog that the more retarded she could sound, the more she sounded like she was speaking Vietnamese. I completely understand. If you know any Vietnamese people, try to say 'good night' and let the good times roll. By the way, don't ask me because I can't do it and the more I try, the more I sound like an infant trying to spit out her first words...ngahy nhagy nhahg;alksdfj;aksgj.... :o)~

Ho Chi Minh City was fantastic. We spent a week there and it was cheap, had good food and we met some really great people. We only couchsurfed 1 night, but it was genuinely enriching. We took a bus about an hour out of the city (near the Cu Chi tunnel system - some 200km of underground tunnels constructed by the Viet Cong during the French and American wars...all dug out by hand tools in a period of 20 years...and let me tell you, if you ain't a small person, you ain't going very far...damn!), and stayed with a really nice family. They fed us 'til our bellies were full (fresh spring rolls, lots of meat and rice, and plenty of chilies!), introduced us to the southern Vietnamese lifestyle, guided us to the Cu Chi tunnels, and treated us like we were born into their family.

Nha Trang...I really cannot recommend this place. Unless you want to get drunk with a bunch of tourist and continuously get ripped off without a full blown price war with the vendor, don't go here. The beach was beautiful. On a side note, I've been told that if you have an inside connection, the mountains to the west have a lot of potential. We didn't get that far.

We are currently in Hoi An. It is really interesting, but there's not much going on here. So it's been good - nice and quiet. Actually, this place is one of the few places that didn't really get bombed during the wars, so there are several really old houses, bridges, etc. There's also a few ancient sites (nothing close to Cambodia) and marble mountain next to China Beach, but overall, this is just a nice area to chill out. And that's exactly what we are doing.

And that's about it. We're making the 24 hour bus journey to Hanoi on Monday to check out the north end of the country and we're looking forward to it. We will miss a bunch of great sites, but our visa is only good for a month and we want to spend some time up north before we leave. So, when we get there and I see some stuff, I'll find a computer and fill you in. Until then, chao!

Cambodia to Vietnam

Cambodia has come and gone. We spent nine days in Cambodia and it's still as beautiful as it was two years ago. The country is still really poor and you can definitely feel post war vibes (i.e. Khmer Rouge), but the people are so friendly. Nevertheless, the ruins of Angkor Wat and the other temples in the area are amazing. If you're interested in ancient cities, these are probably the best ruins left in the world. I'll have pictures up as soon as I find a computer with a fast connection. Anyway, Cambodia - get there!

As for now, we're chillin' in Ho Chi Minh City. Vietnam is really nice so far. We're both dealing with a bit of a stomach bug right now, but otherwise we're enjoying the city. Everything is cheap here, and I'm looking forward to heading North. We'll end up in Da Nang, which is located on the coast in central Vietnam, and stay with friends for a little while. Thereafter, we'll hit up Hanoi and then decide to either go to Laos or Nepal. Whatever the case might be, we're having a great time exploring this new country.

So until next time, take it easy...

Final Hours in Thailand

After about three weeks in Thailand, we are officially moving on tomorrow. Our bus leaves at 9:00 am for the Cambodian border at which point we will hire a taxi to take us to Siem Reap: the home of Angkor Wat. I have had yet another great time here in Thailand from the tropical paradise of Koh Phangan in the south to meeting and temporarily living with an extraordinary family in Bangkok.

There is, however, very little to tell. The island was beautiful and full of such activities as hammock Olympics (e.g. book reading and snoozing), cruising around on a scooter, cooling off in crystal clear water, hiking through the jungle, and eating as much as possible. Bangkok has been about the polar opposite (save the eating as much as possible): full of traffic, con-artists, touts, temples (check my pictures!), taxis, buses, boats, video games, thunder and lightning...very, very frightening!

Basically, if you have been to Thailand, then you can obviously relate. If you have never been here, it is well worth the trip. As for advice, spend two or three days in Bangkok, perhaps a week in the south on an island, and as much time as possible in the north. We did not make it north during this trip, but for you travelers out there, it is cheaper and more traditional insofar as everything concerning Thailand. Overall, it is really hard to go wrong here unless you are smuggling narcotics in or out of the country, talking shit about the king, trying to stop the people from protesting, or as I mentioned in my last post, trying to relax during your Thai massage. Thailand is beautiful - rich in culture, chilies, and smiles.

On a final note, don't be afraid of eating food made on the street: it will cost you about $1.00 for an entire meal and it will be spicy enough to kill anything that might make you sick. Don't be afraid to use the buses: you will save heaps of cash. Don't be afraid to bargain for anything you want except food...and be strong! Don't forget to wear pants and a shirt with sleeves to every temple. Don't forget to never put anything down the toliet that didn't naturally come out of your body: the plumbing is terrible. Don't forget to smile. And don't forget to relax. Come, see and enjoy for yourself...

60 Minutes of Hell

For just $2.80, I experienced an hour of what most countries would consider torture. As for Thais, it was just another day in the life of a traditional Thai masseuse. This woman broke me. Not physically, thank God, but my mind was shattered to pieces. I would have confessed to anything she asked of me. However, I have to admit that after she finished with me, I had the deepest feeling of relief. I suppose anyone would be relieved after such a strenuous display of pressure point manipulation. Nevertheless, at least I can say that I had a true Thai massage - and let me tell you, it will probably be my last.

Thunder and Lightning

After 15 nights on Koh Phangan (also referred to as paradise), we have made our way to Bangkok and the beginnings of the rainy season. Despite having to plan our days (as well as minutes) around the rain, the storms are quite amazing. While walking to the steps of Bangkok's sky train, a bolt of lightning hit the roof of those steps, which was followed by smoke and a 3 second blackout in the surrounding area. It was quite the "excuse me while I change my pants" incident. And we are currently couch surfing just outside Bangkok - the time we spend here is spent with flashes of light quickly (as well as oftentimes immediately) followed by deafening cracks of thunder. Shiori finds herself jumping fr0m time to time, but I have enjoyed the electric show.

Otherwise, things are grand. Bangkok is the same as I remember - busy. We have made our way up and down the river to several temples and districts, but we are ready to move on. Unless you enjoy the hustle and bustle of large southeast Asian countries, I would not recommend staying in Bangkok for more than three days. Of course, we have a place to stay a bit outside of the city, so we will have been here for a week when we leave on Monday.

As for this upcoming Monday, we will be catching a train to the Cambodian border en route to the ruins of Angkor Wat. Until then, we will be hanging out, watching some movies, hitting up the markets for fresh food and who knows what else, playing some video games with our host's children, and avoiding the thunder and lightning as much as possible.

Just Like Heaven

After three mini-buses (one of which included fifteen passengers in a ten passenger bus), a bus and a boat, our 12 hour journey left us in paradise. After two previous visits, I have found myself on Koh Phangan once again. We're not couchsurfing this island, and have agreed to pay about $80 for 14 nights on the beach. This is a bit of a holiday on our holiday, but if you get the chance to visit heaven before it's your time, I figure that you might as well take the opportunity whenever it comes your way. So we are.

If you ever come to Koh Phangan, let me know and I'll give you the scoop. Until then, heaven awaits...

From KL to Penang

After nine days in Kuala Lumpur, I took a five hour bus to Penang in Northern Malaysia. And my time here has been fantastic. KL is a not so big, big city - it feels to me that the city developed quickly in the past twenty years, but has yet to really catch up; the city is ripe with stunning skyscrapers, pubic transportation, local music, food, people and cultures, yet the taste of poverty found in developing nations is quite real. In other words, the city appears to be on the same level as any major city in the so-called ''Western World'', but you can buy a hearty dinner (including non-alcoholic drinks) for about one or two dollars. Nevertheless, I met a bunch of great people, local and foreign, via couchsurfing and again, I had a fantastic time.

The highlight of my time in Malaysia, however, would have to be a day excursion to an elephant sanctuary. I could write several pages about my experience, but instead, you should just find time and come here to experience it yourself. In a nutshell, I was introduced to the world of elephants. I met about fifteen elephants aging from about 6 months to 80 years. I played with most of them, prepared their food, washed a few, rode one, and had the opportunity to swim with an injured baby to help him exercise. It was an amazing experience. And did you know that elephants are the only other animal on earth that bury their dead!

And now I am in Northern Malaysia in a small island city called Penang. It's nice here - nicer than KL for me because it's much more relaxed around here. And the culture of Malaysia is much more noticeable here. Basically, Malaysia is a Muslim state, but the people here come from all over Asia due to the history of the area. As for the history, just think about Silk Road traders from Egypt to Indonesia mixed with all the native people, and then throw in a couple hundred years of colonialism starting with the Portuguese and ending with the British East Indies Company. And after all of that, imagine Islam conquering the minds of most of the people including the government or kings of old (save the significant amounts of Buddhists, Hindus and Christians who are tolerated without question) and then catalyzing the development of the society most specifically in economic and educational ways. After all of that, you'll have a fairly rough idea of what Malaysia is all about. It's a beautiful country covered in ancient rain forests, full of people from around the world at about 1/4 or less of the price it costs to live in the U.S.

In general, I'm already thinking of returning, if only to take up a friend on his offer of taking me into the jungle for a survival course to learn how to do things like starting fires in the rain, recognizing sounds, getting lost, finding your way again, pulling off leeches, avoiding tigers, elephants and snakes, and really just having a priceless experience. What I am really trying to say is, if you have the time and money, get off your butt and make your way to Malaysia.

Salaam!

The Storyteller

His face suddenly awakened. His slightly stained teeth glared out through the stagnant smile and occasional chuckle. Wrinkles quickly flooded and faded across his forehead as if attacking those at the corners of his eyes - his face was full of movement - emotions.

And his hands - his hands were mesmerizing. In a split second they shot from head to toe expressing their own interpretation of the words bouncing from ear to ear. They, too, were full of emotion - audaciously breaking through the air all around him as he captivated his audience with colorful tales of life

With every detail accounted for, he cautiously abused his audience with stunning descriptions of the most mundane. They fell paralyzed into his world...his life...his beauty. They shared, they smiled, their eyes met with the most intimate intentions and then his face fell still. His hands found comfort on his lap The story had ended. They parted ways and were changed forever.

Singa - not so - pore to Malay - me down in the jungle - sia

So I spent about 30 hours in Singapore, and it was great! Shiori and I had our first couchsurfing experience and it was life changing. FYI, if you don't know couchsurfing, you better ask somebody! (www.couchsurfing.com) Anyway, it's an international community of like minded individuals connected via the Internet. Basically, if you register on the website, you are opening up your house, apartment, cardboard box, etc. to travelers from around the world; in return, when you travel the world, you can contact similar people and 99.9 percent of the time you will be welcomed into someones home free of charge. It's beautiful!

As for Singapore, it's a concrete jungle. It's a super duper clean, safe, multicultural island city. It shares elements of perhaps every country in the world, but certainly stands alone. In other words, I ain't never seen nothing like it!

Nevertheless, it's not the most tourist friendly location. It's certainly tropical, strategically located, and in many ways, beautiful. BUT it's quite expensive and there is really not much to see after a few days of sightseeing. If you're looking for a professional career, then it has the world to offer you. If you're looking for a place to relax, you came to the wrong place.

Anyway, our couchsurfing host was fabulous - he treated us as nothing less than family. The one night we were there, we went out for drinks and dinner, got home around 4 a.m., caught a train at 7:30 a.m., and so I am now in Kuala Lumpur. And if Singapore is a concrete jungle, then Malaysia is the jungle. In other words, this place is GREEN!

Sambal Bali*

Serves about 4 people for 1 meal.

Ingredients :
2 large chopped red chili peppers
1/4 kg (~10-12) chopped small chili peppers (usually green/yellow/orange/red)
1/4 kg chopped onion
2 chopped cloves garlic
salt (to taste), ajinomoto (1 cube), terasi (finger tip amount)
~1/2 cup of coconut oil (enough to cook everything above, but not too much!)

Instructions:
1. Heat the oil to frying temperatures (i.e. HOT!) in a pan.
2. Add onions, garlic, salt, ajinomoto, and terasi. Cook about 5 minutes.
3. Add peppers. Cook no more than 5 more minutes.
4. Let cool, put in dish as a condiment, and enjoy! The final product will obviously be a little oily, but it shouldn't be soaking in oil once you've put it into a small dish.

*You might need to consult your local asian market about the terasi, but they will know! You can probably find the ajinomoto at your local grocery store, but if not, the asian market will know!

*If you've never handled chili peppers, DO NOT touch any part of your body (esp. your face) after handling them until you have thoroughly washed your hands.

*It's not as spicy as you think, but it's ten times more delicious than you could imagine. If you can find the ingredients, try to make it and eat this shit on everything!! It is especially delicious on grilled fish, but any rice dishes including meats, tofu, or beans will be enhanced.

Bon Appetit!

Down, But Not Out!

After about 8 days of having a clogged ear, the gods (as well as demons) of Bali poured pain and suffering down from the heavens, and about 98 percent of it landed in my ear. I woke up on the 3rd of April with my left ear completely swollen shut! Of course, not being able to hear was the last thing on my mind considering the amount of pain shooting through my brain. I was officially down, so it goes without saying that I was unable to meet up with my masseuse for a night on the town - damn you, ear! Nevertheless, off to the Ubud Clinic I went.

I lived in Japan for about three years. I never went to the doctor, nor had any significant ailments save the minor cold. Since I have been on the road, which has only been about 4 months, I have been beaten and cut by the bush, broken a toe, been severely sunburned, and now, dealt with excruciating ear pains. I am certainly hoping for a bit of fresh air when I leave Bali on Thursday.

Nevertheless, the doc prescribed for me about half of the pharmaceuticals found in Indonesia, and I am currently functioning at about 85 to 90 percent. I can almost hear clearly now, the pain is gone! Oh, yes! The past two days have been ripe with moments of clarity, and I have no doubts that I will soon be back to my not-so normal self.

Thus, excitement is in the air as I prepare my bags for my day in Singapore. I have arranged a place to stay for the morning and night that I will be there, and I am currently working on a place to stay in Kuala Lumpur. So all is grand in the land of me. Bali has been great fun, extremely painful, and quite rewarding in so many ways (most significantly, "the recovering from pain" way).

And on a final note, my last Bali entry will be a recipe - the most scrumptious recipe! Until then, patience...

I Will Never Let a Woman Touch Me Again

I watched cranes circle above as they searched for the ideal spot to fish in the rice fields below. My mind quickly wandered in and out of consciousness. I mean, it was hard to focus as he rubbed my legs. He put a spell on me as I fell prisoner to this euphoric trance. I am not sure what he did to me, but I do not think I have ever been touched the way he touched me today. I will never forget that foot massage. And I do not think I will ever let a woman massage me again.

He might have also wanted my phone number, but that's another story for another blog. Nevertheless, we are meeting up on Saturday for a night on the town...

The Bali Express

So I have found my way back to civilization, and my ear has been clogged for about 8 days now. I went snorkeling the first day I got to Amed, dove about 2 meters, had my brain crushed by the water pressure, and I have yet to equalize my ear. Perhaps it is water. Perhaps it is pressure. Perhaps the brain damaged jokes are catching up to me. Nevertheless, my hearing is at about 60 percent, but I'm still having a blast.

Since my last installment, a friend from Japan has taken me up on my offer and joined me on the road. Her name is Shiori, so now you can put a name to the Japanese face you might see in some of my pictures along the way. Nevertheless, here is what we have been up to...

19 March: I landed in Bali and set out chasing my tail. Check the previous post if you're not sure what that means.

20 March: I met up with friends from Australia - David and Tracey. We partied and then parted.

21 March: I met up with Shiori. We partied, ate, slept, ate, slept, watched some pirated movies, ate, slept, and then got ready to leave the Denpasar area of Bali. FYI, don't stay in Denpasar if you come to Bali. It's crap. In other words, too many tourists, too much noise, too dirty, etc. It's the Tijuana of Bali for me, and thus, certainly not representative of the Balinese paradise.

24 March: I met up with a friend of David and Tracey. Didi is his name, and driving is his game. He drove Shiori and I to Amed, a small fishing village on the east coast of Bali. It was great! We caught up with David and Tracey, and had a feast of a barbecue party on the beach the night we arrived - fresh Mahi Mahi, Tuna, Mackerel, Octopus, and Balinese Sambal (i.e. a hot chili mixture that tastes great on EVERYTHING!) . The rest of the time was spent drinking, eating, riding a scooter, swimming (including the ear incident), and 100 percent relaxing. Didi invited us to his house for dinner one night - OH, MY GOD! Say it with me... S-P-I-C-E-Y & D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!! And one highlight of my time here was 26 March. That is the Balinese New Year and silence is practiced everywhere on the island. That means that no one is on the street, nothing is open, and minimal lights are used at night. Basically, if your neighbor can hear anything coming out of your house, you are probably going to get into trouble (and that ain't no joke!).

30 March: Didi drove Shiori and I to the biggest temple in Bali, Besakih, and then to Ubud, which is the art/culture center of Bali. Besakih was beautiful; it is nestled deep in the Balinese mountains and is a good representative of the Balinese Hindu tradition. And now we're in Ubud. It's quite a change from the fishing village, but much better than Denpasar.

As for Bali in general, it has been great, but I will be happy to get out of here. For you travelers out there, Bali is cheap, but not nearly as cheap as the rest of Southeast Asia (save Singapore). In other words, where has my money gone?! However, Bali seems to be in a different world, and so it is worth checking out. Their version of Hindu is quite unique from other forms, most specifically India's version. You will encounter daily offerings to gods and demons. Children and animals (i.e. cows, pigs, ducks and chickens) have the right of way on the street, and whoever is fastest is not only first but also right! Though it is illegal, cock fighting is almost a daily spectacle and evidently you should be betting on the reddest cock. The sarongs are beautiful and worn by everyone. You will never believe how much a 70 year old woman can carry on her head without using her hands for balance. And some final notes: don't win a fight or you'll go to jail no matter what happened; don't get caught with drugs or you'll probably be executed; don't drink the water...EVER!...; expect to get diarrhea.

As for the future, we are leaving Bali on 9 April and heading to Singapore for a whole day. We will fly and that should be the last time I am in a plane for a while. Thank Vishnu! Thereafter, we will embark on a train adventure into Malaysia with no further plans.

So until the next installment, this is the Bali Express signing off.

Selamat malam and terima kasih!

Delusions of Grandeur

I have traveled around the world. I have met people you might not believe existed, or perhaps wished did not exist. I have seen things that could change your life in an instant. Then I came to Bali with the understanding that I would be staying at a "friend's" house, and who among you could pass up that offer? Well, I obviously could not pass it up, and never have I been manipulated in such a way. UN-BEE-LEAVE-ABLE!

I was told there was a house waiting for me. I was told there was a car waiting for me. I was told that the neighbor was preparing for my arrival and that he would be waiting for me at the airport. I was presented this amazing arrangement with no strings attached or money required. I thought I had made an amazing connection with a man and his wife who wanted to share their world with me, and let me tell you, they certainly did.

I landed in Bali around 9:40 p.m. and it is tropical. I waited at the airport for about an hour and a half, but the neighbor never came. Perhaps he didn't see me, but how many people do you know look like me; that is, a six foot bear with a beard to his chest? To say the least, I'm hard to miss. Nevertheless, it's a tropical island, people move at different speeds here, and I was not going to stress this tiny hiccup. So I hailed a cab and went searching for this address given to me by these "amazing friends." An hour and a half later, the cabbie and I decided we would need phone numbers to find this address, so I arrived at a cheap hotel for my first night around 1:30 a.m. And still, no worries.

The next day I hit the internet cafe and searched desperately for phone numbers and emails with more details. Of course, I emailed my friend who replied promptly with more info...but no numbers. No matter - I found the neighbor online and contacted him via the phone. And did he have a story for me.

My so-called "friend" has not lived in Bali for years and does not have a house here. My so-called "friend" is certainly not neighbors with the man I spoke to. My so-called "friend" is also possibly in legal trouble in Bali as well. And the cream of the cake has to be directly quoted: "(YOUR FRIEND) is full of shit, and certainly not a friend of mine."

Despite the lies, Bali is great. I am leaving the tourist area today to head out to a fishing village far from civilization and high prices. I never made it to a FREE house or anything that might resemble it, and I responded to my "friend's" up-beat email with a similar vibe:

"Thanks again for everything. The house is great. Take care and talk with you soon."

I figured, if he still believes that he owns a house in Bali and is willing to share his world with me, then I am not going to be the person to clue him in to his delusions of grandeur. So again, thank you my friend. The adventure has been great so far, and you have definitely not disappointed.

As for the rest of you, I don't know when I will be back to the internet, but have no fear. I am having a great time and spending way too much money on this Indonesian paradise. I am off to Singapore and Malaysia on the 9th of April.

So until my next post, dream away!

Mosquito Bites, Sunburns, Broken Toe, But One Hell of a Time!

My Australian adventure has come to an end, and I'm a bit sad to be leaving.  I do realize that I will be heading towards the tropics of Southeast Asia tomorrow where I will probably find paradise, but the people here have certainly made my time in Australia heavenly.  For that, thank you all - most specifically, the Zillig crew for their immeasurable hospitality, warm-hearted company, all the food, and of course, their never ending struggle to beat me in games (HAHA Ayumi!).  Thank you so much!  Take care and all the best to y'all!

So I'm off to the airport tomorrow with plenty of sunburns, mosquito bites, and what feels like a broken toe.  It sounds like it might have been a shit storm, but it was absolutely fabulous.  I'll definitely be back!

As for the future, only Bali knows.  

Hasta luego, mis amigos...

Wildflowers

You masterful muses of beauty and grace -

Of freedom and perseverance.

Your beauty plagues the world

With smiles of fresh air.

How enchanting you are among giants!

You prowl - bold yet subtle.

My neck aches as you present yourself to me,

For I cannot turn away.

But really, I know not of your power.

Unable to comprehend your strength,

I find myself wanting to cry tears of pure bliss;

Your beauty is too potent for such an infant.

As I am but a newborn in your world,

I will insist on enjoying your majesty all day.

Though what am I to do

When the season changes and these days are all gone?

I must remain strong.

This season will return,

And how blessed it will be to cry again -

To rediscover your beauty. 

So please -

Dance your dance,

Sing your song,

Stand your ground,

And let your colors shine -

For the small things change this world -

This beauty.

For you have changed my world -

My beauty.

Thank you, wildflowers.

Thank you.

Sailing, Dancing, Eating and more Dancing!

Hello, everybody!

I'm sorry I've been MIA for the past couple of weeks. I've been enjoying my time here and unfortunately for most of you, 'enjoying my time' does not include using computers. Nevertheless, I'm back with a bunch of updates.

First, I won the Australian lottery and I've relocated to Cairo. I'm engaged to a Persian princess, our first child will be here in October, and I have suffered what the doctors have referred to as 'brain damage.' Evidently, my perception of reality can become significantly altered from the truth. So, I'm not sure which part of this update is true, but I'm sure you can all figure it out.

Otherwise, Australia is still rockin'. I went sailing with a newly found friend, Captain Steve-O, and we had a great time bobbing up and down in 1.5 meter swells. He had to move his boat (i.e. his yacht) down the coast about 30 miles, so we had a nice little day trip.

And I'm still helping Dan with his house, which should possibly be finished in a couple months. He would like to move in sooner, but we'll see how that goes down with Ayumi. Speaking of which, the Zillig crew (i.e. Dan, Ayumi and Yuki) is fine and hot just like me.

I've also been moving between the Zillig households. I can now be found a couple days a week at Dan's sister's house. Becci and her 2 boys (Yarbirri and Kowunduh) are wild animals that graze the prairies during twilight hours, and it's been quite the adventure. Evidently, you can eat any native Australian grasses and occasionally we'll find some bush nuts or other strange fruits. Good eatin'! Nevertheless, I figured out how to distract the boys while they're tied up in the backyard (a flashlight hanging on a string from a tree will go a long way!), so I stole Becci and took her out dancing on the town. We also spent a day in a rain forest and an amazing waterfall when the boys were at school. BEE-YOU-TEA-FULL!

As for today, I'm back at Dan's dad's place, but we're going to Becci's house for a dinner party tonight. I suppose that means field races for the best grass plots. I don't know, but I'll update y'all when I get back to civilization. Anyway, tomorrow we're off to a concert which should be some good old fashion dance music full of drums and didgeridoos!

Anyway, I hope you're all well and enjoying my rants. OH YEAH. I realize that I have not put any pictures online of Australia. It could be because I'm not in Australia (CAIRO!) or it could be due to the fact that every computer in Australia is too slow to upload my pictures to the Internet. Whatever the case might be, I'm working on it. PATIENCE! Well, I'll be back soon with some medical updates, but for now I will leave you all with some words of wisdom...

shake, baby, shake, baby, shake, baby, SHAKE!

Bushwhacked!

So I just spent 3 more days in the bush. The first two days, I helped Dan work in or around his house. On the third day, I decided to ride a bike to the beach. It's only about 5 kilometers away, so I thought 'no worries!' And had I followed the correct trail, it probably would have been a great, lazy day. However, with one innocent mistake in the form of a wrong turn, I ended up riding through the bush for about 3 and a half hours. Oh, I found the beach and it was beautiful. Unfortunately, I was beyond exhausted and in desperate need of fresh water.

And then I decided to ride back to Dan's place. Of course, I missed my turn and found myself in unknown territory with no idea how to get back to where I started. So I invited myself to a nearby house, and with a quick phone call, Dan came to the rescue. An hour later, Dan picked me up about 15 kilometers away from his place and I was ready to die.

I have cuts all over my fingers. I still feel spider webs all over me. My legs feel like they have a constant cramp from ass to toe. And I am sure a doctor would consider mental retardation from both a glimpse of the sunburns on my arms and legs as well as this story. I guess I received my initiation into the bush, but I just feel like the bush whacked the shit out of me - bushwhacked!

The Ant Lion

This is one of the strangest creatures I have discovered in Australia. The Ant Lion is a small insect that builds small quicksand pits to catch ants. If an ant walks into the small sand pit, that's the end of mr. ant. No matter how small or big the ant, it cannot escape the Ant Lion's quicksand. Then the Ant Lion pulls on the ant from below the quicksand until the ant is too weak to fight. Thereafter, the ant is pulled underground for some Ant Lion cuisine. Bon appetit!

Summertime and the livin's OZ

Hello and welcome to Australia. Sit back, relax and grab a cold one 'cause it's hot and ain't no one movin' too fast. You know.

Well, Australia is hot. It's just what the doctor prescribed, and I'm so happy to be here enjoying the summertime vibes with really good friends. I landed safely (though mildly effected by my omnipotent fear of flying) in Brisbane on Thursday, 15 January. Daniel (aka Sam, my coworker from Japan) met me at the airport and drove me a few hours south to Byron Bay where he owns an aboriginal arts shop. Check it out online - http://www.planetcorroboree.com.au/.

We spent the night at his dad's house in a nearby city. Dan, Ayumi (his wife) and Yuki (their baby boy) are staying there until their house is finished being built. FYI, Yuki is F'in AWESOME. He's just about to start talking, so for now, he waddles around, imitates people and giggles. I spent today at the beach in Byron Bay while Dan was at work in his shop. Byron Bay is nice and hot...a typical beach town with a well developed beach culture.

As for everything else, it's been absolutely mesmerizing. First and for most, I can understand at least 95% of the signs and conversations around me. It's been a while since that has happened and it really is fabulous. The only problem is that I don't always remember that everyone can understand me as well. A few 'fucks' in the wrong place can really add some spice to the situation. But no worries. It's too hot to have problems.

And I imagine the other explicit difference is in the flora and fauna. I spent 3 nights and 2 days in the bush...in the outback...out back. My friend, Dan, owns some land and is building a house in the bush. It's been great. The birds are crazy. Their calls range across the board from a simple chirp to a loud obnoxious laugh - it's fun. And there is kangaroo shit everywhere. Evidently you can't have dogs or cats where his house is located. The cat's and dog's crap scares away local fauna (e.g. wallabies and kangaroos), and we couldn't have kangaroo's poohing in other places. I mean, from the amount of turds distributed around his land, the outback doesn't have much room for much more pooh. So to say the least, it's still a bit striking to see a small group of 5' kangaroos leaping/feeding/standing in the bush.

Anyway, we are heading back to the bush on Wednesday, and I'm planning on staying out there for a little while to help Dan get some significant work done on his house. Please keep in mind that there's limited electricity due to the fact that we are developing the land. Current projects include finishing the deck's roof, putting in the kitchen counter and sink, digging a trench for water pipes, and a bunch of gardening. Imagine the step between camping and bungalow - that's where we are right now. Nevertheless, I will get back to civilization when I can and email everyone. So hang in there because more is coming soon.

日本

日本人と外国人（がいこくじん)　－　わたしのともだち

わたしのにほんごはほんとうに。。。だめ！！それでも、ほんとうにいろいろありがとうございました。かみいなぐんだいすき！でも、ここはすごくさむくてたいへんだった。でもみなさんがわたしをあたためてくれた — わたしのにほんでのかぞくとして。こたつさんも！

いつでも。どこでも。どうぞ。れんらくしてください。

ほんとうにいろいろありがとうございました。

げんきで、がんばってください、じゃあね！

（わたしのしゃしんリンクをたのしんで！）

As for my English readers, Japan has been a great place to live save the mountain town winters. It is cold and I am really not a big fan. The skiing and snowboarding are great, but the toilet popsicle is less than fun. Anyway, the message above is a simple thank you, good luck, farewell and open ended invitation to anyone interested in traveling who is unable to follow my English rants. Yes, I wrote the original…in Japanese! However, “bigK” came to the rescue and made it coherent for those who can actually read Japanese. Thanks a bunch, “bigK!”

Below is a poem I wrote while I lived in Japan. No, I did not write the Japanese, nor can I understand it.　　Several people helped get the Japanese on paper – thank you very much (especially Kazuko!).

butterfly kisses　　　　　　　　　　　　バタフライキス
soothe my inner desires – 　　　　　　人生を理解するため
to understand life… 　　　　　　　　　私の内なる欲求をなだめるため

to pursue shadows　　　　　　　　　　無限の光の中で
within everlasting dreams 　　　　　　永遠に続く夢に内在する
of infinite light… 　　　　　　　　　　　幻を追い求めるため

for the soothsayer 　　　 　　　　　　占い師は
has warned of one certainty: 　　　　疑いのない事実を警告した
life never had sense. 　　　　　　　　人生には意味なんて少しもないことを

I now realize that 　　　　　　　　　　今私は気づいている
when words depict ideas 　　　　　　言葉が観念を描写すれば
obscurity rules… 　　　　　　　　　　曖昧さが支配することを

and I realize that 　　　　　　　　　　　そして私は気づいている
when ideas dictate life 　　　　　　　　観念が生活を統治すれば
reality reigns… 　　　　　　　　　　　　現実が君臨することを

and how disgusting, 　　　　　　　　　そしてなんとむかつくことか
these movements of the living,　　　　人々のこれらの行動が
this reality. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　これが現実であることが

so, speechless, I am 　　　　　　　　　だから私は無言なまま
a docile soldier at war 　　　　　　　　戦地において従順な兵士である
with humanity; 　　　　　　　　　　　　人間らしさだけは失わずに

my weapon – silence, 　　　　　　　　私の武器は沈黙である
with which I cannot triumph 　　　　　でも私はそれで人々の声を
over your voices 　　　　　　　　　　　打ち負かすことはできないのだけれど.

though I maintain hope 　　　　　　　　私は生活を知力における
to reconcile this war　　　　　　　　　 この戦争を和解させる希望を
between life and mind; 　　　　　　　　持ち続けているのだけれど

to unearth meaning 　　　　　　　　　　徐々に消えて行くであろう
in the actions of my life 　　　　　　　　私の人生における活動の意味を
as it slowly fades…　　　　　　　　　　 掘り下げるために

love, laughter and loss 　　　　　　　　愛、幸福、喪失、
dancing about like snowflakes 　　　　過去の思い出が
of memories past; 　　　　　　　　　　粉雪のようにヒラヒラ舞う

these subtle details – 　　　　　　　　　このほのかなひとつひとつが
like butterflies and kisses – 　　　　　　蝶々やキスのように
mask insanity, 　　　　　　　　　　　　　狂気をおおい隠す
beautiful insanity, 　　　　　　　　　　　美しい狂気を…

how this life is so… 　　　　　　　　　この人生がどれだけそうであるかを…

As for Japanese stories, I certainly have plenty. You will have to wait for most of them until our in-person interviews (to be held at later dates). For now, I thought that pictures and the video below would sufficiently as well as eloquently describe my Japanese experience. So, until we schedule that in-person interview, enjoy!